Saturday, June 30, 2012

A constant Battle

With my degree I have many resources and tools in order to help others help themselves. This may be internal struggles, relationship struggles, social etc. The really frustrating part is that I have all these tools but sure can't seem to use them myself. 
Anyways I constantly struggle with my relationship with my kids. Well not all three but that is only because Em is almost 7mo. and not able to argue back (at least with her words).  But the boys and I can go round after round. Take tonight for example. Liam was just finishing eating and this was our conversation:
Liam: After dinner do I have to get ready for bed
Me: Well we are going to start heading that way yes.
Me: What you didn't ask about stories, what did you ask mommy
Liam: I said can I have stories?
Me: No you didn't did you...
Liam: Uh Yessssss?
Me: No you didn't you said, after dinner am I going to bed. and Liam what is our bedtime process? Stories are part that aren't they...?
Liam: Do I get stories?
Me: Yes Liam..

It's stupid I know. I am sure you are reading this and thinking any number of things. I know if I was reading this I would be thinking A. So what? and B. The kid was just worried about stories.
I often tell myself, you are the mom, you are the mom, you have more life experience to handle this and you need to be the mature one. Then while all of that is playing in my mind my mouth engages in ridiculous arguments. But these discussions happen ALL THE TIME!! I don't know how to stop them, I know engaging them is not the way to go, but I can't seem to help myself. He sets the trap and I jump right in with both feet. 
Funny thing is I am gritting my teeth right now thinking about it.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I'm so there with you. Sometimes I need a muzzle. Or a person besides myself who is not so aggravated to take over my mouth. My favorite is when I get on my kids for talking EXACTLY the way I have been. Boo ya. Motherhood is REALLY hard. Too much messiness between who I want to be and the flawed person who I really am.