Thursday, December 20, 2012

A little Bit of Heaven

I just finished watching the movie A Little Bit of Heaven, with Kate Hudson. I highly DO NOT recommend it. I sobbed the whole last half of the movie. I don't know why I pick a movie about a lady who is dying of cancer and falls in love and I expect somehow for it to have a fairytale ending. Well here is a movie ruiner, she dies. No she does not suddenly get healed in the end. No the tears from her loved ones do not bring her back. Over all I wish I had not watched it. Yet there is a part of me that is glad I did.
During the last bit of movie she goes around to her different friends and family members in order to "make her peace," or say her last bit. This coupled with the line "everyone is going to die" really got me thinking. I ask myself, "what in the world am I doing?" if death is inevitable then what truly matters. Where is the hope? or What is the hope? Flyboy and I recently heard an audio clip by an accomplished individual. He was stating that if we focus on the meaning of life to be money, and we work hard for it but are miserable then hasn't life truly lost meaning? But if we do what we love and enjoy life then aren't we really living?
This all just sounds like rambling but it gets one thinking. If I knew I was going to die in a few weeks What would I do differently? How would my relationships be? What would my words be like? What would really matter? What "peace" would I need to make? I think about all the times I don't have a loving conversation with flyboy, the times I take his presence for granted. I think about all the games I would/could play with my children. How many times I would tell people I love them. The grievances I would no longer hold on to because they just don't matter.
What if I did not even have a few weeks. What if there was no time to mend the brokenness, to tell and show my babies how much I love them. This is not meant to be a morbid post, actually it is meant to be the opposite. How much better to have Christ and to live! To have hope. To know that I can't invest in all relationships as if each moment were my last. I am a fallen individual. Anger, frustration, bitterness, seem to fall on me throughout my day. But by the Holy Spirit, All of that has been taken away. I don't have to hold on to those grievances  as if they matter. I can let them go and now they have been payed for. I can freely love and cherish those around me.
Oh my totally rambling. If you take nothing else: Treat each moment as if it were your last, Love and forgive, cherish your babies. Bask in the rich hope that this life is not as good as it gets!

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